I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
we should paint friendship bongs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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