it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
