Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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