alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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