Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
