Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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