What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
