what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
