I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
