She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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