New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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