who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
