those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
