I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
