After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
