I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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