dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
