I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
