can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
