im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
