Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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