the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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