FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
