Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Randomize
