oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
