Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I touched a dick in church today
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
