My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
