it wasn't lemon gatorade
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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