Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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