remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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