the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
