Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
