the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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