I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I love having hate sex.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
