her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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