i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
