lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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