just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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