Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
