Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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