just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
wanna go halves on a baby?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
