VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
high people should be assigned attendants
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
