she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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