I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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