We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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