my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
