She announced her abortion via fbk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
