she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
