Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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