JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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