i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
someone owes me an orgasm
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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