GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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