STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize