Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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