i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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