She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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