thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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