i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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