I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
