There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
