He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
